Looking forward to a really nice and quiet Christmas this year. It will be the first Christmas in over 10 years that I’ve got to spend with my three children. No flying for me-YEAH! Mutti is already here wrapping up gifts and I’m on a mission to get good things at the grocery store for our Christmas dinner. Looks like we might even have a surprise guest this year. OOOoooOOOOoo. Who could it be? Miss Terry Maybe? So no surprises, no drama, no heart aches, we wont have any of that! I’m really looking forward to just settling down under the tree Christmas morning with my fuzzy slippers and my babies and watching them enjoy the girfts. This is the best year for Bubba. He has really just discovered who Santa is and he is just itchin to get up under that tree and see whats in them boxes. He says, " I Nee Nat Present". I knitted each baby something super special and I’m super excited to see Chellsea’s reaction to her gift. (its not a hat!) Well….its a hat AND something else super cool. Even Brad’s got somethin under there (probably a hat). Sugars Goodness has a wonderful new sweater waiting for her and a matching scarf. Miss Mia Mack’s got some wonderful had made gifts also. Wonder if they have wolves on them? Derrrr 
Its good to have the family together. I think on Christmas eve were gonna drink hot cocoa and frost the gozillian sugar cookies that Chellsea made. Merry Christmas!

Ugh! Strep-

Just come back from vacation on Monday and back to work on Tuesday. About half way through the day My throat starts hurting. I'm thinking That’s its probably just the start of a cold cause it was pretty yucky on Tuesday. Rainy and cold. Plus I only brought a light jacket and had a short sleeve shirt on. So all day I eat cough drops. End of the day comes and it pouring down rain outside. I just have a light sleeveless dress and that stupid dress coat to keep me warm. By the time I get home my throat hurts so bad I don’t want to swallow. I’m shaking cause I’m so cold. I drop my clothes on the bedroom floor, crank my electric blanket on to high and grab a towel so I can spit into it instead of having to swallow. I feel like I’m swallowing glass. Now I know there’s something wrong with me but there’s nobody home but me. And I can move cause my entire body hurts. It hurts when I take breath because my lungs move my muscles. My back hurts extremely bad-probably the worst spot on me. My skin hurts. Now I’m sure got the full blown flu.
I’m under all those blankets with the electric blanket on high and I’m freaking freezing like someone is throwing ice cubes down my back. My husband comes home with all the babies and I’m bawling like a two-year-old baby. Feeling like stupid cause I know its probably just the flu.
I had an appointment already for the next day at 11:30 with my regular doctor but it was for a possible stomach ulcer but I’m thinking I’m hurting so bad that I decide I’m gonna ride it out and go to that appt and see if he can at least help me with my throat issues and maybe my muscles. So I swallowed a bunch of stuff to help me sleep and about 8 IB pro, a couple of Tylenol for the fever and made it somehow threw the night. The next day I drove myself to the doctor (hind site should not have done). I walked into his clinic and it was packed with people kids old people-Everyone. I could barely walk and I couldn’t see because my face was sweating so much I think my eyeballs were sweating too. So shuffled up to the front desk and put my purse on the counter and laid down on the floor. My temp was 102.
They got me right in at that point. I got two bags IV fluid right in the office and a nasty shot of antibiotics in my ass. They said my blood pressure was unbelievable and that my heart was beating 30 times faster than it should have been. I spend over 2 hours in the clinic on the table before they felt it would be ok for me to go home and then they wouldn’t let me drive. So they had closed down the clinic, cancelled the remaining appts and my doctor personally drove me home. Now THAT’S what I call personalized service. He is my newest BFF!
The Dr. said that if the antibiotics didn’t start kicking in soon or if for any reason it got any type of worse to go to the emergency room.
So all this happened while my husband was at work. He comes home and I still cant talk cause my throat is like broken glass, So he calls my dr office and gets filled in. Doctor tells him not to let me drive no more (der) and gives him the skinny on the strep and possibility of blood poison. He goes gets my RX’s for me and I spend another night rolling around in bed. Too hot one minute, too cold the next, spitting into towel cause I cant swallow. Finally I see my husband get up to go to work at 2:00-2:30ish and I say hospital cause the stuff is on the other side of my throat as well and my body is screaming. He was so good cause I couldn’t barely move he got me dressed and practically dragged me out to the car cause my legs hurt so bad. I kept telling him to hurry cause I thought “this is it-This is how I’m gonna die” I was so sure of it.
When we got inside the ER I heard this lady say “I’m getting a wheel chair” I said no no a gurney Cant sit. They kept trying to ask me questions and I could answer them cause it hurt so so bad to talk. Finally they figured out I wasn’t gonna be much help and they started asking Brad all the rest of the questions. Thank you again Brad-Thank you! They couldn’t do anything for the pain until they did a cat scan to see if the abscess had burst. FINALLY they come back and the abscess had not burst but (like I said) I had another. So they loaded me up with Two more bags of IV fluids and )Thank you baby Jesus they gave me a shot of morphine for my back and some thing else to help my muscles relax cause they were spasming. And the most wonderful thing of all-the ER had this neat little wand just like the ones at the dentists office that suck up all the extra spit so they cave me on of those to use and it was heaven on earth!
So now I am at home on bed rest for the rest of the week and Brad has been my knight in shinning armor. He has kept the babies out of the room. He has brought me whatever I needed, run picked up RX’s. Thank you Brad. And Missy Chellsea may-I know you were scared but you handled everything wonderfully. If there is ever and emergency I know I can count on you. Thank you my lovely family!

1995-2010

1995-I brought Krusty home as a puppy and nobody wanted him. But I did. He was so funny looking when he walked and even funnier when her rain. Fo r such a small dog he sure did think he was big stuff. Our first day of camping this year and we had just got eveything unpacked and set up when Chellsea called to tell us that Krusty was having trouble walking. Shortly after she called us again to tell us he was having seizures and trouble breathing. I jumped in the car right away and drove the 2 hours back to the house. Poor baby Krusty was hurting so bad. He was having seizures every 10 minutes and couldnt move. I made the decision to take him in to the vet and ahve him put to sleep. He was 15 years old. We wrapped him in a soft blanket and Chellsea held him all the way to the Pilchuck Veterinary Clinic. I held him as they gave him the shot and his poor little body just relaxed all the sudden and he let out a nice sigh. Then nothing. His body was so warm. I'm so glad he isnt hurting anymore. I held him for a little while and talked to him as he feel asleep. He was my best friend. He loved me always. Even when I wasnt good to him. He still loved me. He listened to me when my heart was hurting from my break up with Fallons Dad. He was always ready to go for a walk-even if it was raining and he really did not like the rain. He didnt mind that we moved all the way across the country. He was my friend. My very good friend. He was very familiar to me and I loved that he was always around. I took it for granted that he would be around for many more years. I dug a nice hole in the soft sand in out back yard. I wrapped him in his super soft blanket and laid him down on the sand. I told him I loved him and that I would think of him often. and I will because he was my friend.

IN MEMORY

Ladies and gentleman, It greaves me deeply to have to tell you that this morning March 6, 2010, at approximately 7:50am we lost part of our family to a terrible tragedy. After rising early this Saturday morning, We let the smallest member of our household, Sweet Sugary Goodness, outside to enjoy the wonderful sunshine and to take care of her morning potty issues (yes, she has now actually touched the ground after 5 months of continual holding). Unfortunately, the second smallest member of our family, Bubba Downs was the first to notice that Sugary was ready to come back inside and as the adult members of the family were otherwise occupied, Bubba took it upon himself to let her back inside through the sliding glass door. Tragedy stuck, for he closed the door too quickly, catching the very tip of her glorious wagging tail in the door jam severing it off completely. Although her tail and her pride were both damaged she will of course survive. We will be having a memorial service for Sweet Sugars tail at 2pm today and for those of you who cannot attend we would like to ask for a moment of silence.

Parenting

The hardest thing I have ever done
The hardest thing I have ever done is to be a parent. I guess the fun part is over. I ran into some small issues with my oldest daughter and now it looks like we will be working through some slightly larger issues with the second oldest daughter. I know we will get through them. Not looking forward to all the energy and extra time I’m going to be putting into her but I am looking forward to the outcome. I am positive that we will all find out way through these next couple years and my second oldest will also turn out to be a wonderfully smart, well balanced adult. Bump bump bumpy roads ahead.
I am however sick and tired of other parents and their attitudes towards the choices I have and will continue to make for my children. I firmly believe that there are many different ways to parent your children. Who’s to say which way is the right way. Its really the end result that counts-not how you get there. Every parent will make many mistakes. Every mistake I’ve ever made concerning my children has been done with their best interest in mind. All you can do is admit the mistake and continue to try different ways to obtain the result you were originally looking for. I make a promise to each of my children. I will always do my best to help them each make smart choices. I will try my hardest to keep them from choosing the wrong path. I will never, never give up on them. No matter what the problem is I will always do what it takes. “Failure is not an option”. Children are not disposable. They are not dogs. You cannot ship them off when they test your patience. You can not trade them in.
If other parents do not agree with my parenting methods then they can kiss my ass. I am a strict parent and I demand respect from my children. I give back respect in return. I am a fair parent. I am generous and loving. I am affectionate. I set the bar high for my children to give them something to strive for. I am not their friend. I am their mother and teacher. I refuse to send my children into the world to learn by experience. I send my children out into the world with knowledge. I will do what it takes to save my child from hurting themselves by making ignorant choices. I will not be able to save them every time but I do my best to soften any hurt from them that I can.
I am praying for patience and asking my children to also have patience with me as I am still learning also. I am crossing my fingers and taking deep breathes. I am trying to act more and react less. I am hoping I can help my daughter find her inner value and learn how to respect herself more. I will be making choices in her near future that with alter her path in life and am so scared that I will make the wrong decisions. But I will do them with the best intentions.
Its so very hard to hear that your child hates you but I believe that the end will justify the means and hate is and emotion that can be turned. I love all my children forever.

Christmas VACA

Had a great time on vacation. My husband got up at 3 am with me and Fallon and Sweet Sugary Goodness (the dog). Very tired as we got to the airport. Kind of nervous because we had never flown with the dog before. Would she whine on the plane? Or pee? What if they didn’t even let her on? When we got up to the counter to check in they didn’t even ask us if we had her rabies certificate! However, Fallon had forgotten her identification so I had to fork out an extra $100 so she could fly as an unaccompanied minor. Grrrrr (I love my lallie pup, right?!). Not very happy with that little girl. So other than the little ID bump in the road everything else went very smoothly. Sugars never whined at all through the entire flight and it was almost 4 hours. During the transfer we took her out of her carry case and she was a happy camper. Everyone loved her. Fally slept through most of the flight-I did too (so did sugar). I walked Fally to her next flight and she was off to Tulsa! My friend Randy was at the airport in Arkansas to pick me up and we went right to my friend Allisa’s house where we roasted marshmallows in her fireplace and made smores-DELICIOUS! The next day I rented my car and was off to see Chere’. We had a great week. We drove to Little Rock to visit with Chere’s sister Kathy and her dog Zoey. Sugars and her got along like Forest and Jenny (peas & carrots) Hmm that sounds good. I think we will have beef stew for dinner tomorrow J. One night we also went up to the Lodge at Mount Magazine and had a wonderful dinner. I had the smoked salmon with lemon and caper sauce. Chere had a huge monster burger and Randy had a Reuben Sammie. It was very sad to have to get back on the plane to come home but at the same time I sure did miss my family. I spoke to Mia a couple times while I was gone and all she could say and talk about was how very much she missed her Sugary Goodness. Another long flight and we were back home. Mr. Lovely aka my husband picked us all up at the airport and he told us all how much he missed us. I secretly think he might have even missed Sugary Goodness. She has a silly little way of slinkin up into your heart and makin it all warm and fuzzy. It was very good to see my family after a week away. Miss Chellsea was a great help while We were gone. She helped shuttle Bubba back and forth and helped take care of everyone. What a great girl she is! Life is good! Oh yeah I forgot-We also went to visit Sugars Mom at my friend Cris's house and we went to Mrs. Bankheads natural store and got Bubba some good eatin food and then when I got home I took Bubba to get his moppy hair cut and then we all went to get donuts in town and THEN-Life was good!