Sunday, January 16, 2011

Another Hard Day

Slowly, slowly, oh so slowly, our family is starting to heal. Its time. Time helps. The less you think about the source of the hurt, the less it hurts. At first it hurts all the time because you think about it all the time. You wake up with fresh dreams. You start out on a bad foot but if you keep yourself busy you find that you think about it less and less and the next day is better. Take down all the things that remind you. Cut out all the people who ask questions. Drive down different roads. Dont talk about it. MAKE yourself think of different things.
Finally when you hardly even realize it, its been almost a year and when you DO think about it you find it doesnt hurt so much. I think I'd like to forget all together for awhile. It hurts me to see my children hurt. How can I help them forget. Should they forget. How would it help for my children to continually bring it up, to talk about it, to wish for things that will not happen. I see no benifit for them to want for something they cant never again have. So things will stay in storage, pictures off the walls, we will not talk about, and until our hearts are stronger we will continue with what we know, whether it is right or wrong. Its all we know to do and anything else is still too hard.